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I did good work for a few long days, treating HTML code like a fine craft, patiently and persistently messaging the keyboard until every pixel fell into just the right place. A good page is done; the code is examined over and over again, finally at 1:30 am I send it off, with an over-full and exhausted head but feeling happy that I'm doing what I'm doing as hard as I can, finding meaning in the craft. I lay down, twenty minutes later realized I forgot to brush my teeth, I actually forgot to brush my teeth, and drag myself back up. The toothbrush lay there, with all the bristles flattened, long overdue for the trash can, and I have no new toothbrushes, I try not to buy too many toothbrushes (they are expensive!) as a reminder to myself not to brush too hard, not to confuse mashing with brushing as if the teeth would get more clean with more force, more effort. I always brush too hard... The toothbrush lay there, and its sight let the air out of me.

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